4 months 1 week. Where is time going...

Hello hello,
Can you believe its already almost JUNE! Why is this year just flying by. Before I know it Ill have a one year old. Things are going alot better. I climbed outta my 'feel sorry for myself' hole. Tomorrow I am working at the Pet store to fill in for someone, then me and Cody are going to have a nice dinner.*yay*. Should be a nice little weekend. A weekend with the little smernts...

Hope everyone has a good one.

-savannah

Ready for a new month!

So our little guy is growing growing growing. Ill  post new pictures  soon. Carrots have become his fave food. (other than milk:) ) He is teething crazy. It seems like gallons of drool. And fussiness. But we will make it through this.

Me, I’m okay. I’m trying so hard to stay motivated and lose this weight. I’m working out to some videos 3 or 4 times a week. Drinking lots of water and eating less. So we will have to see.

Cody, I guess he’s great. He got a new washer and dryer. He loves laundry. I Know I’m lucky:) I really hope we can spend some kind of time together sometime soon. Sometimes it feels like I hardly ever see him. And I don’t want to go down that path. So if you friends with him too please TELL HIM! Take savannah on a date or something! I’ve tried asking. <---and I’m still waiting.

tiny update

So it was a terrible week. Im so glad its over. Lets all start fresh tomorrow and take it day by day. I had been working out every day and eating great. Then the stress and craziness of this week hit and boom there it all went. And I felt it. I now feel bloated and just plain terrible. So tomorrow is a new day and Im going to get back on track. I must get in better shape.

Dexter Update! Cuter than ever...<3 Realized he has feet. And can grab things if he tries really hard. Im anxiously waiting for his first laugh. COME ON DEX!

Lets go forward....

I Threw in the towel....

So...it was going better. But not becoming easier.
After a whole week of being frustrated, fussy, and sharing a bucket of tears I had to make the hard decision to just let breastfeeding go. And thats okay. I will have another baby in a couple years and can do it again and maybe not make the same mistakes that led us in this path.
I do know that I looooove my little guy. And breastfeeding was the best bonding experience for the first 3 months or so. When it evolved into this difficult situation though I started Hating it. We got so off track. Its only fair to both of us that it just ends.
Trying to get him back to the breast only was keeping him from getting full, not having enough wet diapers, crying and fussiness, suddenly not sleeping through the night. Uggh I can go on. And how can I forget that hes got a little tooth on the bottom thats just right under the gums coming through. It just adds to the frustration. Im grieving not breastfeeding. But hey, Ill get over it. Time to enjoy my son. I wont lose a minute more to this frustration. I tried and I tried HARD!

In other news, Im sending positive thoughts to my great "aunt" Nancy<3 She is having Emergency surgery for cancer of the colon in the morning. Shes just the sweetest lady ever. A real Pistol!

UPDATE!

So 24 hours ago I was beat down, tired, and ready to give up.
The situation with Dex not breastfeeding has gotten so much better. Not perfect, and not like it used to be, but getting better.
I can now get him to eat eventually. Though I'm still afraid he's not getting enough. I Gave in a few times and gave a bottle yesterday and today. I just don't want him to be hungry hungry. I think we are on the right track. I have however promised him and me that if the situation isnt mostly better by this weekend we will just move on from it. I'm not willing to give up precious moments to this frustration any longer. We are taking it feeding by feeding, taking deep breaths, and cuddling alot. I dont know why I am so hell bent on breastfeeding. I've heard several times already to just give him formula and not stress about it. It means something to me though. I planned on breastfeeding since I wanted to get pregnant. I wanted a challenge. I wanted to give my baby the best food possible. And I will just have to come to terms that formula was good enough for me as a baby and will be good for him. So continue sending some prayers our way on that topic.

Otherwise Wow our boy is getting soooo big. He just bounces away in his little jumperoo, can watch tv, pinch you (lol), and tons of other fun things. Hes just such a sweet boy that is soooo interested in the world around him.

UGH! Sound the Alarm.

Trouble in paradise.
Im at my wits end. It all started the saturday before last when I worked 9-6 at the pet store. That was the longest Dexter went without breastfeeding. He takes a bottle like a champ and that exactly our problem at the momen. So much so that my supply started taking a turn for the worst. Thanks to a weekend of power pumping EVERY hour its back but he just won't nurse. The only time I can get him on in at his 6am half assleep feed. Otherwise he screams bloody murder at the mere sight of my boob! Goodness. I called a lactation consultant and got little help. She just said keep trying.

So far I have tried

• Warm bath with baby. (supposed to induce nursing) Ha!
• Nursing in motion (worked 1 day until he wised up)
• Nursing when sleepy( our best bet so far) Ive tricked him a handful of times.
• Pumping first to induce let down. (end up with a mad baby covered in milk) lol

Sigh, so we are going to keep trying. Today we have gone bottle free except for 5 ounces this morning. And Ive gotten him to latch twice for 3 minutes each time. I think out of mere starvation. So I dont think the technique is going to work. But I know he got milk both times. Hes also been sleeping a ton today. Then again thats probably from all the crying we have both done. If we havent made any progress in a few days Im going to just quit and pump only. Im afraid our little breastfeeding team is coming to an end. On the other hand I just dont want to give it up that easy. Just because my lil son is soooo stubborn. There has to be a way to fix this. Pray for us. Pray I dont lose my mind:)

Oh yeah my mothers day was nice! I drank alot of wine to soothe away my sorrow.
If you have any tips you think might help let me know!

Mothers Day

"My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon"

Happy Mothers Day Everyone!
Hug a mom.

Im so genuinely delighted to be able to celebrate this Mothers Day! It is my first as a mom. As it is also for many of my dear friends since we have all become mothers for the first time or again this year. Congrats to us all! It truly is the most amazing thing in the world.

I have all new respect for my mom. I love her soooo dearly. This has always been a favorite Holiday of mine because she is just so special to me. She has helped make me the person I am, and am forever becoming. You are my favorite woman<3 You are stong, loving, compassionate, TRUE!, unique, and beautiful. Thank you for being my mom.

Nothing has made me feel more complete than becoming Dexters momma. This time last year He was just a tiny embryo and I had no idea I was pregnant yet. Here a year later and I have a kooky, sweet, blue eyed baby loving me with all his heart. I cant wait to see him grow. I tear up still sometimes when Im cradleing him to sleep. Hes just the sweetest thing.

Way to go mommas out there. Only we know how tough, crazy, stressful, yet Wonderful, fufilling, exciting, and full of love our jobs are.

I dont expect much from mothers day. All I want is to spend it snuggling my boy and hanging with people I love<3

Hope you all have a good one!

Who knew.

Things have been going great.
Starting this week I've finally felt like me again.
Who knows if its my hormones levelling out or if its the Medicine. (that i needed)
*sigh* It just feels good.
Dexter is at a fun stage where hes so awake and alert for the most part of the day. With little naps a few times. He's sooo smiley. We are having a lil trouble with breastfeeding. But Im starting to really think its because he's starting to teethe. Today has been the worst. I held a cold teether up to his mouth and he chomped on it for awhile. He has no interest in eating though. Poor guy is just plain fussy right now.

Goodness I love being a mommy. What a blessing for sure. Im sooo goofy in love with this child. I just want to shower him with snuggles and kisses all day. <3

This weekend is Mothers day! My first yay. I already got my present in the form of some cloth diapers Im gonna give a go at. I've always loved mothers day simply because I LOVE my momma sooo much. Im honored to be in the mommy club....

Ekk I better get off of here. Dex is stirring