What's this?

So its been a great week! We had a nice little weekend, didn't do alot. Spring cleaned and hung out with old grumpy teething Dexter ( but god I love him). A nice weekend.

Ive been in good spirits, and really I think its just because I've been dreaming of Roller derby, and being a roller derby chick! That's all that I can think about and read about. Hell I haven't even gone to a practice yet. But come Tuesday I will be ready to get out there and embarrass myself...I need this!

I feel good and I'm ready. This came at a good time.
I'm ready to get bruised and roughed up, not nervous about that. I AM nervous about meeting the ladies though, like I'm in 7th grade again, afraid they will think I'm a dork.

Wish me luck that I can still skate like I used to, that I make some new friends. And maybe this feeling that I'm gonna love this will be sticking around for awhile.

In love.

With this little man.
He is just getting smarter and cuter every day.
It seems like in the past few weeks he has learned a handful of words, and succesfully climbing in and out and on top of all kinds of stuff. He can take his shoes off and will bring one of them to you when he wants to go outside. Dont try to stop him from going outside because this kid would live out there if we let him. He is alot like his daddy and a little like me, he's a good mix. I'm just very much so enjoying him.

Time...

Time heals all wounds, to a certain point at least.

Thank god this is a so far going swift for me. I begged and pleaded to whatever there is to pray to, that this would happen and fast for me. I just need to move on and start anew. Those prayers were answered in many a sense, I am on the mend. Today I haven't cried but once. Im positive, not in too much pain and looking towards the future. Hopefully it will be completely over by next time I go to my doctor and we can start looking forward to the next time we try (which will wait several months) because I'm just not ready to do this again yet. Im living on pure Hope, my babies smiles, and my Husbands love, add in some great support from our family and thats a cure for at least a tiny bit of my heartbreak.

Though the road may be rough ahead, I will not fear it.

Tonight is Pizza with my boys and our houseguest (my lil brother) and some ice cream<3

<3<3

Losing you...

So we found out yesterday, that we are in fact losing this little one. Technically I would of been 8 weeks and a few days. Baby just didn't make it that far, quite possibly there was just something wrong. And it just isn't its time.

Its been really hard, sooo very hard. I am amazed at how attached you can be to something you have only known a month. Im finding some strength in my little fella. And my wonderful husband. Im so thankful for what I do have. And that is an amazing group of people around me for support. Thank you to everyone.

This little angel has grown its wings for now. Maybe its time will come again. It's now just time to grieve, to heal, and to love whats around me.

<3